Our stories
The Clarence Valley – a chapter in the story of your life.

‘Kid Free’ Yuraygir Walking Adventure Holiday Only Slightly Marred By Husband Carrying On Like A Big Baby.
A long awaited walking adventure – primarily serving as a way to get away from their demanding children for four days – has been deemed a success for Meredith and Darren Cornell, despite Husband Darren exhibiting behavioural traits best described

“Bumper Season for Human Watching”, Say Excited Whales.
The seasonal migration of humans to vantage points along the Clarence Valley’s coastline has been “The best in living memory,” according to spokeswhale Harriet Humpback. Communicating with your reporter yesterday – by way of slapping the water with her enormous

Grafton Bridges Announce Intention To Marry.
Grafton’s bridges have announced this morning they’re ‘very much in love’ with each other, and – despite an 87-year age difference – intend to marry as soon as legally possible. “I didn’t expect to feel this way,” says Frank –

Father Of Two Perhaps Too Excited About Camp Oven Festival
June 11th cannot come soon enough for the Cornell Family: mother Meredith and siblings Phoebe and Scott – as the family patriarch, Darren Cornell, 50 – becomes increasingly unable to contain his enthusiasm about the forthcoming Clarence Valley Camp Oven

Mum Found Safe After Spending Forty Minutes Lost In Thought In Ulmarra Bookshop.
Meredith Cornell, 43, has been reunited with husband Darren, and children Phoebe and Scott, after spending over half-an-hour in quiet, well-deserved solitude in Ulmarra’s iconic bookshop last Sunday afternoon. Mrs Cornell was reported missing soon after 12.30pm local time, when

Scientists Solve Maclean Mystery.
The scientific community is abuzz today with the discovery of an extraordinary phenomenon spanning both hemispheres of the planet, we can reveal. In a lengthy interview with your Clarence Valley reporter this morning, Head Scientician at the Global Institute of