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The Clarence Valley - a chapter in the story of your life.
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2 March 2017

From our canine correspondent

G’day readers. Molly here. That’s me in the photo. As you can see I’m fairly chuffed with my new life in the Clarence Valley. My human companion Gra (who usually writes this column) reckoned he was struggling to come up with an idea this week, so I told him hey, no worries, take five pal. I’ve got this.

This instalment of ‘Fresh Eyes’ goes out to all the Canines who call the Clarence Valley home. Some of us have met face-to-face and nose-to-tail down at the dog beach already, but many more of us have been introduced via wee-mail. You know what I’m talking about.

I pity humans and their – let’s call a spade a spade here – pathetic sense of smell. Did you know a human’s nose is at least 10,000 times worse than ours at smelling things? Poor buggers are basically stumbling along depending on vision and hearing alone! Ha! No wonder they’re always glued to their smartphones to keep up with what’s been going on. Who needs facebook when just by sniffing the ground you know who’s been doing what, where they went next, and what they’re probably doing now. You have to feel for these poor, simple-nosed humans.

OK, so whether you’re a Brooms Head Beagle, Harwood Hound, Tucabia Terrier, Coutts Crossing Kelpie or Jackadgery Jack Russell, I just wanted to remind you of the one simple truth that will ensure you get the most out of life in this amazing part of the world.

Molly, wise author of this piece. We paid her in pats and cuddles.

Are you ready Canine Comrades? OK, here it is: every morning is The Most Exciting Morning of Your Entire Life! 

Do not ever lose sight of this astonishing fact. Forget yesterday, don’t even think about tomorrow, because right now – 5:47 AM – is where it’s at.

Because this is The Most Exciting Morning of Your Entire Life, you must rouse and mobilise at least one member of the household the moment it becomes remotely, vaguely not dark outside.

Your job is to separate your human from their bed as quickly as possible and get them out of the house without delay.

Human beds are conveniently about as high as an average dog, which means most of us can directly eyeball our owner as they sleep. (If you’re on the small side you can put both front paws up on the mattress)

Get as close as possible to his or her face, set your eyes to Pleading mode, and start gently explaining that, though you can scarcely believe it, today of all days, The Most Exciting Morning of your Entire Life has arrived!

Humans call this ‘whining’, but stick to your guns and before long the human will be vertical -¬ staggering but vertical. At this point, your weak-willed human may be tempted to put the kettle on, but this will waste precious minutes of The Most Exciting Morning of Your Entire Life, so lead them to the front door and start spinning in circles and bouncing like a Masai Warrior to show just how urgent it is that you both immediately romp around the great outdoors.

If your human must visit the toilet, allow them this indulgence, because soon enough they will be dutifully cleaning up after you on that front.

Once you’re both in the pre-dawn cool of the great outdoors you are free to follow your bliss. You might be a footpath follower, a stick specialist, a tennis ball tragic, a farm free-ranger, a frisbee fiend, a seagull rounder-upper, a sand digger, a shorebreak splasher, a relentless sniffer, a smelly patch roller-arounder, a runner, a trotter, a tailchaser, a cruiser. Whatever it is you’re into, give to it all that joy and gusto only we dogs possess.

But here’s the thing. There’s a slight element of theatre to our daily enthusiasm, isn’t there. It’s our job, as Man and Woman’s best friend, to get our human companions up and outside for the most magic time of the day.

If any humans are reading this column, we get you up early because we love you, we demonstrate with our joy and gratitude to show how you should be feeling too, and we want you to see as many Clarence Valley Sunrises as possible.

Fresh Eyes - from our canine correspondent

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